


trying to piece it back together

by Bara_no_Uta



Series: Finding Meaning in [E]ternity [20]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Healing, Post-Ending E (NieR: Automata)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27666479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bara_no_Uta/pseuds/Bara_no_Uta
Summary: “Are you okay?” 2B asked, frowning at A2’s indecipherable expression.“No. I want to grab some metal and get the hell out of here. But is there… something you want to look for?” Even if it was hard for her, she wanted to support 2B to the best of her ability.2B bit her lip. She knew that A2 was deeply angry with the Commander, so she hesitated to tell her the truth. But just as A2 had promised to try to be open with her, she felt it was important to be honest with A2. “You don’t have to help me if you don’t want to, but I want to find the Commander. I want…” Her hands balled into fists. When she spoke again, her voice was forceful. “Even though I don’t understand some of the things she did – I want to save the Commander!”
Relationships: 2B/A2 (NieR: Automata), Commander White & 2B, Commander White & A2
Series: Finding Meaning in [E]ternity [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892593
Kudos: 13





	trying to piece it back together

**Author's Note:**

> I'm well aware that the Bunker being in this good of shape after exploding and falling from space is... a bit of a stretch, lol. But I really wanted to bring White back, because I love her and she deserves happiness too. (I'm sure that based on the narrative in this chapter, one would think I hate her. But that's because this is from A2's point of view.)
> 
> By the way, I'm still not over Long Story Short's passage about 2B wanting to save and protect the Commander as much as 9S wanted to protect her, and describing her feelings toward Commander as being "something forbidden and taboo"... 👀

As soon as she had gathered herself, 2B stood and sprinted toward the Bunker. She knew that there couldn’t be any survivors – not between being infected with the virus and the Bunker crashing to Earth. And yet… there was one person she still hoped she would be able to see again.

A2’s legs felt heavy. She followed after 2B, even if part of her didn’t want to go anywhere near it. Her only fond memories of her time on the Bunker were from when she had gotten to talk with Seed, but she knew that there was no way to recover Seed’s data. She was sure it had been destroyed along with her body, in an effort to hide whatever Seed knew. That was why Commander had refused to bring her back in the first place, she suspected.

When she drew close to the Bunker, 2B noticed that A2 was trailing much more slowly behind her and paused to wait for her. Partly because she wanted to check on A2, and partly because she didn’t want to enter the remains of the Bunker alone.

She appreciated that at least 2B seemed to notice that she wasn’t keeping pace with her. It meant that even if they had very different feelings about finding the remains of the Bunker, she wasn’t alone. Even so, the closer she got to the Bunker, the more a familiar feeling of numbness spread throughout her mind.

“Are you okay?” 2B asked, frowning at A2’s indecipherable expression.

“No. I want to grab some metal and get the hell out of here. But is there… something you want to look for?” Even if it was hard for her, she wanted to support 2B to the best of her ability.

2B bit her lip. She knew that A2 was deeply angry with the Commander, so she hesitated to tell her the truth. But just as A2 had promised to try to be open with her, she felt it was important to be honest with A2. “You don’t have to help me if you don’t want to, but I want to find the Commander. I want…” Her hands balled into fists. When she spoke again, her voice was forceful. “Even though I don’t understand some of the things she did – I want to save the Commander!”

Rage boiled within her at the idea of seeing the Commander again. She had questions that she wanted to ask that only the Commander could answer, but was it worth it? …No, seeing that 2B felt so strongly about wanting to see her again, A2 knew she would be willing to put aside her own anger for 2B’s sake. Granted, all of this was assuming that it would even be possible to bring her back. There should be a chance if her data hadn’t been damaged too irreversibly by the virus or the Bunker falling.

“I don’t trust her. But if we find her, we can see if it’s possible to bring her back.” _For you._ A2 didn’t say it, her attention already focused on trying to figure out how they could prevent Commander from screwing them over in some way if they did bring her back. She definitely didn’t trust her not to betray them in some way. “Pod, are you able to detect the location of her body?”

Pod tried running a search. “Negative: With no signal to detect, this Pod is unable to distinguish the remains of former YoRHa Commander White from former YoRHa units.”

This was a lot of carnage to sort through. As numb as she felt, A2 could only assume it would be easier for her than 2B, for whom this carnage was the remains of her former teammates. She took a breath. “Why don’t you gather metal out here. I’ll go in and search for her.”

“I can help you search.” That only felt fair. She knew this wasn’t easy for either of them, but she wasn’t about to put the least pleasant part on A2. Especially not when she knew that A2 would probably be just as glad to leave Commander inside, were it not for her request.

A2 shook her head. “Look, if I were in your position, I wouldn’t want to see the remains of my comrades. I don’t want you to have to either.”

She couldn’t deny that this proposal did make quite a lot of sense. After thinking it over, 2B drew A2 into a hug. “Okay. Thank you, A2.”

A2 leaned into the hug, allowing herself to take comfort from it. The memories of her time on the Bunker, which moments ago had stung so painfully, felt more bearable like this. “I’ll go in just a minute.”

There was a silent request in that, and 2B didn’t miss it. She wasn’t sure what exactly was on A2’s mind, but it seemed she had been right in guessing that something was troubling her. Unsure how to help, 2B nodded, hoping that her confirmation would assure A2 that she was welcome to stay like this however long she needed.

A2 tried to focus on the feeling of 2B’s arms around her, the warmth where their bodies touched, and the fabric of 2B’s dress under her hands. She took slow breaths, willing herself to calm down and refocus on where she was here and now. It was still hard, but over time, she found it gradually becoming more successful. When her heart squeezed, feeling as though she could cry if she allowed herself to, A2 pulled away. She knew 2B wouldn’t mind if she cried, but she would rather just get this over with. After pulling away from the hug, she kissed 2B’s cheek. “I won’t be too long, I hope.”

2B still felt concerned, and tucked some hair behind A2’s ear. “If you are, I’ll come looking for you. And call if you need anything. Or send Pod and he can show me where you are.” It was unlikely that there would be enemies in the Bunker, but she was concerned about the structural integrity. Many parts had caved in or collapsed entirely, and those that hadn’t looked as though they could do so at any moment. There was a chance that A2 could end up trapped in there. But as androids, their bodies were quite strong, so most likely she wouldn’t sustain any damage that couldn’t be repaired, and if she really couldn’t get herself out, 2B should be able to help.

“I will. Same to you – call if you need anything and I’ll be here as fast as I can.” While the structure was unlikely to collapse on 2B, she still felt concerned about the potential for an enemy ambush.

“I will,” 2B echoed.

With that promise, A2 entered the Bunker and began to look around. She was glad to have Pod with here to keep her company and distract herself from any memories that threatened to surface. “I guess if we ever need spare parts or anything, there are a lot of resources here.”

“Yes, many of the resources present appear to be in repairable condition. However, the majority of electronic components appear to have been irreparably damaged due to the explosions.”

“I wonder what caused it to blow up, anyway. Do you have any idea?” It didn’t actually matter to her that much what the specifics were, but it would prompt Pod to keep talking.

“Unknown. The Bunker was compromised by machine invasion, and may have had its own self-destruct mechanism. Alternatively, the machines may have triggered the explosion or made an infected unit self-destruct in an effort to prevent 2B and 9S’s successful escape.”

“Hmm.” She moved some rubble out of the way, revealing a collapsed passageway. She could get through, although it was narrow enough that she had to crawl. It was tempting to just cut a hole through the roof of it, but she wasn’t sure that doing so wouldn’t cause other parts of the Bunker to collapse. “At least most of this place is a circle. Makes it easier to search… Only so many places she could be.”

“The Commander’s last known location was the Hangar. I have marked its location on your map data, as it is highly probable she did not have time to relocate far before the Bunker’s explosion caused her death.”

“Oh, so that’s what that dot is. Thanks.” It was funny how she had come to talk to the Pod as though he were a real companion now, especially considering how rocky their collaboration had been in the beginning, when 2B had first asked Pod to watch over her after 2B’s death. “I gotta say, it’s nice having a way to navigate. Hey, can Pods keep secrets?”

“Affirmative: Pods have long been entrusted with the secrets of Project YoRHa.”

She wasn’t sure how much that was really a confirmation that Pod would keep something a secret for her now, but she decided that was good enough. “It’s not really a secret, but it’s just kind of embarrassing. You know, back when I used to live on the Bunker, I’d get lost in here. Even though it’s a circle. Somehow, I always found myself going in the wrong places…”

“Question: Unit A2’s difficulty with navigation has already been disclosed. Why does this bring the emotion of embarrassment?” He had come a long way in his emotional depth since his creation, but much of this was still fairly new to him. He wanted to understand, though.

She pondered that question as she stood, the hallway becoming tall enough she didn’t have to crawl here. “I guess it’s like… no one really wants someone to be focused on their shortcomings.”

“Having shortcomings is embarrassing?”

A2 shrugged. “I guess so.” There was something not quite accurate about Pod’s phrasing, but she didn’t know how to explain it any better, so she decided to consider that close enough.

“Understood. This Pod appreciates A2’s explanation.”

She petted the top of the Pod, although she felt silly doing so. It was something she had memories of 2B doing that seemed to help increase the positive relationship the two had. Feeling embarrassed after doing this, she quickened her pace as she moved forward.

“The Hanger is nearby,” Pod alerted her.

“Yeah, guess I should keep on the lookout.” She already kept her eyes on the ground as she walked anyway, not wanting to step on any android bodies. Even if they were already dead, it just felt disrespectful. She exhaled slowly, wondering what kind of state the Commander would be in. “Hey Pod, can you calculate the probability that she’s able to be repaired?”

“I estimate a 83.9% chance of successful repair. Based on her behavior and the timing of the explosion, the probability is high that the explosion caused her to lose consciousness before the virus had opportunity to severely corrupt her data. However, there is a chance that structural collapse injured her body in a way that would prevent retrieval of her data.”

“Well, that’s better than I thought. 2B will be happy.” She still was glad that she was the one looking though. Not only because of the bodies that she had stepped over already, who 2B may or may not have known, but also because if Commander was in some sort of gruesome state… She would rather spare 2B the sight.

“Question: It appears that A2 detests the Commander. Why go through the trouble to rescue her?”

She gave a short laugh at that question. “It really doesn’t make sense, does it? But you know… when you love someone, sometimes you’re willing to make sacrifices so that they’ll be happy.”

He could understand that. It was similar to the difficulty that he and Pod 153 had endured in order to bring 2B, 9S, and A2 back. While the affection that the Pods held toward the units they served was difficult from the love that A2 and 2B had for one another, he supposed that it could likely be described as a different form of love.

She entered the Hangar, and there… “There she is.” Her body was damaged from the impact of the fall, but the Hangar was structurally sound enough that nothing had fallen on her. It also appeared that the explosion was far enough away not to have damaged her body, although that raised the question of what kind of state her data would be in due to the virus.

A2 knelt next to her, trying to sort through the conflicting emotions that she found warring within her. On the one hand, there was a lingering sense of loyalty, undoubtedly due only to her programming. On the other hand, she was absolutely furious with the Commander and loathed her for what she had put everyone through. “Pod, can you help me carry her out? We’ll see if her data can be recovered later. I want to get out of this damn Bunker.”

A circle of light appeared around the Commander’s body as Pod lifted her up. When A2 started to walk, he followed, levitating Commander the whole way.

“By the way, Pod. …You’re unusually talkative today.”

“You appeared to show an unusually high level of interest in carrying on a conversation, so this Pod responded in turn. Additionally, this Pod has observed that in times of stress, your psychological functioning improves when engaged in conversation.”

She wanted to tell him that things that personal were better left unstated, even if he had observed them, but she supposed that she _had_ asked. “Don’t tell me the answer – it’s her place to tell me, if she wants to – but I wonder why 2B is so attached to the Commander, anyway.”

A2 had asked a question, but said that she didn’t want to hear an answer. Pod didn’t know what to say to that except, “It appears that emotions are often contradictory to logic.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” And now she was crawling again. She was glad that she had gotten repairs and her new set of clothes so that at least she had a couple of layers of protection from the debris and shrapnel.

“Is your dislike of the Commander also contradictory to logic?”

“No way. She sent us on a mission for no reason other than to watch us die so our data could be used for ‘better’ models. There had to be some other way to get that data, but apparently she didn’t care. And she could’ve… done _something_ different for 2B and 9S, I’m sure of it. Her decisions were cruel.”

“You have referenced on a few occasions that it is not ‘your place’ to hear or tell something. Is it a rule that a unit’s thoughts and emotions should only be shared by themselves?” He knew that he could shed some light on Commander’s decisions, but he wasn’t sure if A2 actually would want him to say it or not.

“Hmm… Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it, more or less. I mean, if it’s something you know they don’t care who knows, that’s fine. Like I can tell Devola and Popola or anyone, ‘6O likes flowers.’ Because 6O wouldn’t mind if the whole world knows that she likes flowers. But sometimes, people don’t want to share something with everybody, so they have to decide who to tell and how much to tell them.” Part of her felt it was ironic that she was explaining emotions and social norms to the Pod, considering that neither of those were things she would consider her forte, but she supposed that at least she knew better than he did. Come to think of it, did Pods even have any sort of programming to help them understand that?

Pod did his best to synthesize this with other data he had regarding emotions. “Understood. It appears that most units are more comfortable sharing emotions of happiness compared to other emotions.”

“It depends on the person, but yeah, that’s pretty much true.” Reaching the end of the space she had to crawl through, she got back to her feet. “Are Pods supposed to understand feelings, or what?”

“We are not programmed with any sort of emotional or personality data. However, it appears that we are capable of evolving as we attain experiences and information.”

Huh. That was actually kind of cool. “Well, that explains why you’re asking me these questions.”

Sometimes, Pod felt confused by the discrepancy between the emotions it could tell a unit was feeling and the words that they used. If he were to go based on her words just now, he would believe that she found the questions tiresome, and yet if he wasn’t mistaken, the emotion she was feeling was more akin to happiness.

The conversation was cut short by them reaching the door. A2 looked around and quickly spotted 2B, who was gathering pieces of metal that had already fallen off the satellite. Perhaps it would be easier to cut it up, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to dismantle the place she had once called home, no matter what painful experiences were associated with it.

As soon as she saw them, 2B abandoned the pile of metal on the ground. “Commander!”

A2 knelt down on the ground, motioning for Pod to place Commander down. 2B sat next to A2, tears stinging at the corner of her eyes.

“I don’t know yet whether I’ll be able to recover her data. But her body definitely doesn’t look beyond repair, so as long as the virus didn’t destroy too much…”

2B nodded, hoping that A2’s implication that she could successfully bring the Commander back was correct.

“Pod, I’ll need your support in hacking.”

“Understood.”

With the help of the Pod, A2 hacked into White’s personal data. The first thing she needed to do was to ascertain whether it was in good enough shape to even be recoverable. She looked around at the fragments of data. “Her data is… Pod, is this from the virus? Or is it from stress?” She recognized this sort of fragmented personal data from her own, so she knew there was a possibility it was only due to stress.

“It appears to be due to stress.”

She hadn’t had any idea that the Commander was under so much stress. Maybe that was natural when she was in charge of leading so many units though – or maybe it happened before she was Commander, and was what had made her so cruel. “Let’s check for any extra data that might be present from the virus, or anything critical that might have been damaged by it.”

They moved from area to area, checking each of her systems. The virus having disappeared along with the Red Girls, it seemed nothing was out of order… at least, not as a result of the virus.

A2 eyed her memory data. The temptation was strong, to simply go in and get the answers for herself as to why Commander had been so willing to sacrifice them. After all, it wasn’t like she would trust any answer that the Commander gave her verbally. Even so, prying into her memory felt wrong, and… she really didn’t want to relive that, even if it would be from someone else’s point of view.

“We need a way to make sure she doesn’t turn on us or anything,” A2 said, looking at White’s various systems. “Let’s disable her remote communication abilities.”

As she said this, she went ahead and did it. Changing permissions settings was fairly easy, at least. It also wasn’t permanent, which meant that if something happened that they decided to allow her something that had been disabled, someone with the ability to hack could easily go in and enable it. “We’ll have to remove her access to changing her own permissions.” She left in things that she was confident would be useless in attempting to harm them, like volume settings.

Past that… Someone would need to monitor her to make sure she didn’t sneak off to find someone who would reverse these permissions changes. There was a possibility that if she had attack capabilities, the Commander could harm that person and run off. “Better to disable her NFCS.” She didn’t have a FFCS in the first place, so at least that was one less thing to have to change.

“Pod, do you see any other liabilities here? Anything else that she could use to hurt us?”

“Negative: It appears that these changes will render former YoRHa Commander White harmless.”

Which was fine, because she wouldn’t be by herself anyway. If there was a machine ambush, whoever was making sure she stayed out of trouble could handle protecting her. …Even if a resentful part of her thought that it would serve Commander right to find herself the one surrounded by machines and helpless, she still wouldn’t intentionally put her in that position.

A2 finished hacking and turned to 2B. “It looks like she should be fine. Let’s bring her to Devola and Popola for repairs, and we can talk about how we’ll make sure she doesn’t do anything to screw us over.”

That seemed reasonable. As much as she wanted to save the Commander, at this point, 2B couldn’t truthfully say that she fully trusted her anymore. 2B gathered the scrap metal she had collected. If this wasn’t enough for Devola and Popola, they could always go get more while they were working on repairing Commander, too.

“Here, I’ll help carry that.”

With Pod carrying Commander, A2 and 2B each carried half of the metal. The weight wasn’t a problem, but it was a bit more complicated to hold it while jumping across the tops of the mostly-submerged buildings. In this way, the group headed back to the Resistance camp.


End file.
